Nearly got trampled to death by a herd of pushchairs this morning (collective noun please. Cankle maybe?). I was yomping, it was a definite yomp, I was in a hurry, through the market place on my way back from Sine FM Towers this morning only to have 9 pushchairs (obviously being pushed) coming at me, all in some military file with two old ladies flanking them with tartan shopping trolleys. I saw no evidence of Yorkshire terriers but I'm sure they were there. It was a definite flanking movement and I had nowhere to run to. My only means of escape was to dive behind a bric-a-brac store and then explain to a potential customer that I didn't work there and I didn't know the price of the brass effect miner's lamp with wooden base. We agreed on a tenner and I did one.
I'll be honest when I used to drive a pushchair and used it as a weapon but 9 abreast with old lady pincer movements seems a bit excessive. And yes I know technically I'd have been run down not trampled by pushchairs but you get the idea.
I was rushing 'cos of the myriad of things I had to do. Like buying Halloween decorations. OK, bit late I realise and obviously being this close to Christmas the shops are full of Easter gifts, but I eventually stumbled on some tack and spent a small fortune on pumpkin shaped bubbles and a glow in the dark spider. Potentially a false widow. Potentially not. Many thanks to the Lovely Tracey for pointing out I should have gone to a pound shop AFTER I'd shopped. This is why I should never be allowed to shop alone. And yes that's a hint given she's sat distracting me!
Joined on this morning's show by two fifths of Famous Villains, Neil and Rob, for a chat and some revel roulette. Rob undoubtedly won. I got one malteser and an orange, then another orange after they'd gone. Neil started with orange but rescued himself with a malteser. Rob just got chocolate and then more chocolate. Git. As I've said before Famous Villains are the best dressed and best looking band in Donny. To turn up at 8am looking dapper, chiseled and, well, just damn right suave is just not on. I'm still getting the knots out of my hair at 2pm. Add to this the sheer quality of their music and they'd be quite annoying if I didn't love them so much.
Favourite ever traffic report today: Animals in the road. Nothing specific, just animals. Obviously some driver's zooligical knowledge is sadly lacking. Surely they could tell the difference between cows, horses, llamas, grasshoppers etc. Could have been owt. Though if it was my missing yak I'm gonna be distraught at almost finding my lost bovid.
Of course it could have been the legendary sixties Geordie quintet busking at the side of the road.
I've waffled enough.
Playlist Wednesday 30/10/13
The Mighty Ship - The Housemartins
Moving - Supergrass
Broke Up The Family - The Milk
Gotta Get Out - The 48ks
If I Had A Million Dollars - Barenaked Ladies
The Other Way - Polkadodge
Rango - Catfish And The Bottlemen
Invitation - Bang Bang Romeo
Mr. Bassie - Horace Andy
Night Mail - Public Service Broadcasting
How Soon Is Now - The Smiths
American Slang - The Gaslight Anthem
You Jane - The Wedding Present
Old England - The Waterboys
Pelican - Maccabees
Burn This City - Famous Villains
Millionaires - Famous Villains
Spies - Famous Villains
Hungry Heart - Bruce Springsteen
Revolution - The Beatles
If You Wanna - The Vaccines
Dancer - Auction For The Promise Club
Rose Tattoo - Dropkick Murphys
Here Comes Your Man - Pixies
Dreaming Of You - The Coral
Teenage Rampage - The Sweet
Never Knew Your Name - Madness
Heavyweight Champion Of The World - Reverend And The Makers
Red Light Spells Danger - Billy Ocean
Hate To Say I Told You So - The Hives
7 O Clock - The Quireboys
Undercover Martyn - Two Door Cinema Club
Harvest Moon - Neil Young
Queen Of The Disco - Hail To The Eskimo
Let 'Em In - Wings
We Gotta Get Outta This Place - The Animals
Into The Valley - The Skids
Don't Let Me Down, Gently - The Wonderstuff
Egyptian Reggae - Jonathan Richman And The Modern Lovers