Monday 31 March 2014

DEXTERS Interview. Sheffield. 29/03/14

SS: So am in the beer garden of The Royal Standard, Sheffield with Tom and Jamie from Dexters. Their debut album Shimmer Gold came out last Monday. How we doing chaps?

Tom: Very good.

Jamie: Good.

SS: You sound knackered!

T: Bit tired

J: Still energetic. We're restoring our energy for later tonight

SS: What is it? The tenth night of the tour tonight?

T: F**k I don't know

J: It's the last day of the second week. One more week to go.

SS: How's it been going? Any stand out gigs so far? Glasgow springs to mind.

T: Glasgow. Stoke. Stoke, they're bloody nuts. Yeah, Stoke's good. They've all been pretty good.

J: I think, yeah, Stoke was literally shocking. The dressing room's up on a balcony, we looked at the support band, looked at the audience and jaws just dropped. They were crazy,

SS: So five dates left culminating at the Islington Garage, home town gig. How excited are you for that?

T: Very excited. Got a brass section coming down. I say section it's two blokes. Is that classed as a section? They're coming down to do Shimmer Gold with us. Yeah it's just gonna be brilliant. It's gonna be great just to play back in London. See everyone again.

J: It's gonna be better than Koko I reckon. That so far has been my favourite gig but Garage is gonna be even better. Definite.

SS: NME tagged you when Recover first hit the scenes as 'brash guitar anthemia of the highest order'. They've added svelte to that since the album came out. The debut album is one of the best debuts I've ever heard.

T: Cheers.

SS: Did you always think that you had that album in you when you first started?

T: I always knew we could do a good album that we'd be proud of but I just think we're always evolving. How I feel is if we did it now, don't get me wrong I'm really happy it's out there, boom, that's us, but that's us then. The good thing about the band is that we just keep writing. Keep banging out the tunes.

J: I think since the summer, summer was when we kinda started changing a bit. Actually started developing. 

SS: You hear Recover, Oceans and such like, I think a lot of people expected eleven indie rock anthems but the album's so diverse. We mentioned Shimmer Gold which is just a stunning song.

T: When we did Shimmer Gold, when we were mastering it there was me and the producer in the hallway and I just heard the door swing open, I can hear the feedback at the end, and the guy who mastered it, Jeremy, he walked out and he went 'Did you write that?' 'Yeah yeah.' He says 'I've gotta shake your hand.' And he mastered 21 Seconds by So Solid Crew, so. come on!

SS: Are you the main songwriter then Tom?

T: I am the main songwriter yeah mate. I kinda like write it and it'll be like in caveman form and then it evolves and they bring it up to the Tudors.

J: A lot of times though when we do a practice Tom will come in with a tune and play it on his acoustic. Most of the times to be honest with you I don't actually like it. The lyrics are f***ing brilliant but....

T: You know what you can go f*** yourself.

J: No the lyrics are awesome but I don't get the same feeling till we all put our work to it and just make it into the Dexters style.

T: Yeah but some of the newer ones I've been writing, a lot of the older ones tended to lend themselves to the acoustic guitar, but stuff like Cloudfest and Shimmer Gold...

J: That is true that.

SS: We're joined by a third member. Do you want to quickly introduce yourself?

Ben: I'm Ben and I'm the rubbish guitarist

SS: So has the reaction to the album surprised you? It's been getting glowing reviews in the national press as well, not just the music press.

T: I've loved it. I mean reviews are great and stuff but it's just opinions really. They're great to get but I also like when you just go online and someone I've never met before just tweeted me saying I love your album, it's amazing.

SS: I think I got a bit gushing on social network

T: Yeah but it's good that there is that there is that social media now. Someone can be like, 'Oi, You're great.' I can go 'Thanks man. I'll tell my mum.'

SS: For kinda like our generation Definitely Maybe set the standard for debut albums. I personally think you've surpassed that.

T: F*** off

B: Beep!

T: Sorry

SS: I think it's a stunning album

T: Ah mate, see that, that's just as good as any four or five stars you can get. 

SS: It's just so diverse, so sublime. How you gonna follow it?

T: Plane crash. We'll all die. 

B: That's the next step.

T: We're still writing. I think if we recorded our debut album tomorrow it'd be even better. 

SS: Does the writing process just continue?

T: I don't write anything on the road. Some people say they write on the road a lot but I don't. And there's guitars everywhere but I just don't.

B: At some stage you have.

T: Have I?

B: Yeah The Hard Way was like that.

T: Yeah but that was in London. It's not the road. There's enough writing that I'm not worried about it. I've got 8 songs that I haven't even played to the band yet. Well I might have played a little bit but we haven't started working on them yet. 

SS: Cos a lot of songwriters kinda lock themselves away for two weeks

T: I cant force it. It just comes. I'll be walking around doing my own thing and either a lyric or a melody will come and I just put it in my phone

B: Sometimes we revamp old songs as well

T: Yeah I'm good at recycling. You've gotta these days. Think of the environment.

SS: Speaking of that is that the shirt you nicked off Joel from Bang Bang Romeo?

T: It is yeah. He gave it me, I didn't steal it. I thought I'd wear it in honour of him tonight. He's up in London playing my club night. 



SS: Well thanks for talking to us guys.

T: All good bruv

SS: It's been a pleasure as always. Too early for sambuca?

T: Nah.








Je t'adore aimez quatre vingt dix neuf grand chevaux

¡buenas tardes

For the lone Mexican no doubt getting confused by this blog.

So it's diary time again.

Monday 24/03/14

Pie and scrabble night. Thankfully, and probably due to the excesses of the weekend (see last week's blog) Mrs. Aardvark was too tired to make pie or play scrabble. Shame about the pie. I'd slaved over a hot shopping bag. Blessing on the scrabble. I got a 24 hour reprieve on the weekly humiliation.

Tuesday 25/03/14

Pie and scrabble night #2. Attempted to have a John and Yoko style bed in but we couldn't find anything to protest about and despite appeals on facebook no-one would deliver us food or fags. Had to get up as Miss Aardvark Jnr called round. Pie was made and consumed after a facebook pie-off with Andy and Val Constantine and the scrabble board made an appearance. 0 for 5. Though I did come second. This cant hide the fact that I lost by over 130 points. Worst effort yet.

Wednesday 26/03/14

Open Mic Night at Cask Corner and arguably the best this year with Smoking Beagles, Groomlake Fugitives (we'll gloss over Turning Japanese), Passion Play and The Last Politician all putting in stunning sets. My best mate Ian turned up and was a tad horrified when I ordered coffee. I have my reasons!

Thursday 27/03/14

A rare night in alone. Been a while and I'd totally forgot what to do. No TV to get angry at. Discussed my plight on facebook and ended up having a conversation about alcoves, monsters, lingerie models and band names with Chris Perkins and Darrin Snider which whiled away the hours. Look out for My Monsters Are Imaginary's first release later this summer.

Friday 28/03/14

Continental market in town. I love it even if last time it was here I got attacked by topiary. Could easily spend a fortune. I didn't thankfully. A quick chicken provencale in the sun perched on the steps of St. George's and off to view premises for the on going record store plan. Early days but I want this:



Watch that space. Home, shower, out. Quality covers band The Patriots at Cask Corner. A catch up with some very old friends. (old as in known em years not that they're particularly old) and home again.

Saturday 29/03/14

Gig day. Dexters supported by Section 60 at The Leadmill. A hugely anticipated one for me. Continental market first though. I could easily spend a fortune. I did. On mead, fudge and chicken provencale. A rapid destaining of the shirt (chicken) and jeans (coffee) and off to Sheffield. Section 60 interview at half four then Dexters at 6. Dressing room with a beer and those cheeky Section 60 boys were we talked football and beer. This is the life. Then a call to Dexters tour manager. 'We're in the pub, we can do the interview in the beer garden'. Splendid. Over to The Royal Standard. Imagine my surprise to find two Velcro Teddybears behind the bar. I should point out Velcro Teddybears are a Sheffield band who just happen to run a pub. Interview with Tom and Jamie from Dexters outside. Another good un. Last year Dexters played at The Leopard supported by Bang Bang Romeo. For some reason that night Tom and Joel from BBR swapped shirts. Half way through the interview I realised Tom was wearing Joel's shirt. Bit surreal that.



I shall be doing a full review of the gig with the interviews in a separate blog. Back into the pub where I spilt Guinness on a dog and chatted with the band about how James Earl Jones is typecast, how Darth Vader would have sounded if they'd let David Prowse do the voice and Arsenal's signing policy. The Gooners were on the TV playing Man City. Tom's a big Gooner.

The gig was awesome. Dexters debut album is, for me, the album of the year. This was the gig of the year.

Back home to Mrs. Aardvark who chose to speak French to me. Always good.

Sunday 30/03/14

Mother's Day. My 11th since my Mum died. Never an easy day but this was a good one. Meal at San Remo's with the Family Aardvark before they all joined me at Sine FM Towers. A more chilled show this week. Possibly cos I'd eaten way too  much. Cliff Richard sneaking into the play list for my Mum then home to discuss the burping habits of Sir Cliff. Maybe you had to be there for that one.

So Monday again. First Mapfest meeting in an hour then no doubt a return to the standard Monday night Scrabble thrashing.

Laters

SS

The Other Way Playlist Sunday 30/03/14

The Other Way - Polkadodge
Sally Cinnamon - The Stone Roses
Bright Side Of The Road - Van Morrison
Walkaway - Cast
Lead The Way - The 48ks
The World Was Sleeping - The Landed (Exclusive)
Be My Yoko Ono - Barenaked Ladies
Shimmer Gold - Dexters
Reputation - Section 60
Wrecking Ball - Bruce Springsteen
Red Cortina - The Saw Doctors
Blink Of An Eye - You Addiction
The Rest Of The World Has Gone Home - The Courteeners
Follow The Road - The Dunwells
Burn This City - Famous Villains
Carnival - Bang Bang Romeo
American Slang - The Gaslight Anthem
Cherry Bomb - John Mellencamp
Things To Talk About - The Landed (Exclusive)
London Calling - The Clash
Keep The Car Running - Arcade Fire
Rotations - The Darlingtons
Inertia - Laminate Pet Animal (Music Bomb)
Wild Wild Life - Talking Heads
Dignity - Deacon Blue
Union City Blue - Blondie
The Next Time - Cliff Richard
Can You Dig It? - The Mock Turtles
Egyptian Reggae - Jonathan Richman And The Modern Lovers



Monday 24 March 2014

Diary Of A Freelance Peanut With A Flattened Pe..... Monday 24/03/14

Well I kinda promised this blog would turn into a weekly diary. Ish. Problem with that is that last Monday is a week ago now and I cant remember what I did. Let's see what happens.

Monday 17/03/14

Monday is Scrabble date night. Don't knock it till you've tried it. Third week and the running score was 0 for 2. My best attempt yet but Mrs. Aardvark still triumphed. 0 for 3. Hoaxed on a triple word score late in the game and I was done for. Always thought I was quite handy at Scrabble too. Next week ludo. Safer ground.

Tuesday 18/03/14

Tuesday afternoon saw me in Barnsley visiting Debut Records to pick their brains re running an independent record store. Without going into too much detail I'm more convinced than ever that it's doable in Donny. Someone told me pre visit that Barnsley's changed, it's very clean now. The small bit I saw seemed pleasant enough. For Barnsley.

Tuesday evening found me co-judging Pub Idol at The Urban Bar. The name explains it all really. 7 competitors but 2 real stand out singers. Despite the drunken chap in the toilet who insisted I didn't know what I was doing and that he could sing better. He then proved himself wrong magnificently with a rendition of Parklife mashed up with what I believe was entitled vomit in the sink. Lovely.

Wednesday 19/03/14

Wednesday was spent looking online for vacant properties in Donny town centre. This isn't strictly true. It was spent reading messages from Mrs. Aardvark who was sending me links to vacant properties in Donny town centre. She's much better at this kind of thing than me.

Wednesday night a quick chat with The First 45's JJ who's keen to get on board with the record store thing though seems to have got sidetracked by thinking of a name. C**t Records is just not acceptable. And then Open Mic Night at Cask Corner. Always an entertaining evening. And the manageress is fit.

Thursday 20/03/14

Was supposed to be in town for 12 to see The Dunwells and Emma Jade Garbutt busking to promote their upcoming Leopard gig on April 4th. As is my wont these days I failed abysmally to get out of bed. Arrived just in time to catch The Dunwells last chord. Still what I've heard of the band before makes it a must see gig especially with Famous Villains on the bill too.

We took advantage of Mrs. Aardvark having a rare day off with a bonus game of Scrabble. 0 for 4. Lost by 103 points. This isn't funny anymore.

Friday 21/03/14

Not my finest hour. Out with my best mate Ian for a 'few' beers. Got told off in The Doncaster Brewery Tap for playing music on my phone (Bruce Springsteen - Rocky Ground). My apologies to Ian (a different Ian) and Alison (The Milky Bar Kid). Told the band in Horse And Groom they were a disgrace to punk music. A trip to The Mason's that I just don't want to talk about, then back to Cask Corner to get the key to Chez Aardvark. I went back to Julie's while she finished work. In my very drunken state I crashed out and didn't hear her banging on the door, or the text asking where the f**k I was, nor the 15 missed calls. I was woke up by a less than impressed Mrs. Aardvark standing over me having had to kick in her own door to get in. I'm blessed that she has a marvellous sense of humour and a very tolerant nature. In my, very weak, defence she was late home due to a disaster with the plumbing at Cask Corner.

Saturday 22/03/14

In a magnanimous gesture of loyalty and devotion I offered to help with the Cask plumbing disaster. (For magnanimous gesture read creeping). This basically involved holding a pipe while we both got covered in, well, you don't wanna know but you can guess. Then mopping up the stuff you don't wanna know about. The less details the better. Home for a shower then out again to meet the erstwhile Mr. Rob Dannatt. More Record Shop names touted including 'Closed Until Further Notice Records', 'We Don't Sell Records Records' and my personal favourite 'Mansion Records'. After a visit to Johnny Gibson at Tiki Bar to sip ridiculous cocktails and a stop off at La Barraca to see Mark Kelly we gatecrashed a charity do at Woolpack. I did make a donation just to ease my conscience. Then I got the call. An even bigger plumbing disaster at Cask Corner. Commendably the band played on while staff and customers mopped. Back to Cask where I drank coffee (lesson learned) and helped with more mopping. Got to bed at 7am. It's never dull.

Sunday 23/03/14

A lazy day before down to Sine FM Towers for the 2nd The Other Way. I know that doesn't scan well but I can think of no other way of putting it. A much better show this week. Less nerves though I still ran out of time. No iPod Roulette (maybe no bad thing) and only squeezed in one of the exclusive recorded tracks from Johnny Lucas. I really need to plan better. It's bad form to have exclusive recorded tracks that I don't play! Was joined on the show by the superbly talented and very lovely David Bailey for a couple of quality live tracks. After the show over to my favourite Donny restaurant, Tipsy, to see Yusuf and eat his magnificent fare.

This next bit is a tad embarrassing and I'm not quite sure how to word it but here goes. The Aardvarks were laying in bed watching tunage on Youtube on my laptop, erm, naked. A certain body part of mine was resting on the laptop obviously enjoying Faithless' performance at Glastonbury 2002. It was pointed out to me that he seemed to be watching. I'd forgot and on shutting the laptop..... do we really need to go any further with this?

So that was that. It's Monday evening. I've been reliably informed we wont be playing ludo tonight but that the Scrabble carnage will continue.

Laters

SS

The Other Way Playlist Sunday 23/03/14

The Other Way - Polkadodge
Down At The Doctors - Dr. Feelgood
Start To Run - Dexters
Dedicated To The One I Love - The Mamas And Papas
Don't Look Behind You - The Talks
After Hours - We Are Scientists
It Keeps Me Alive - Johnny Lucas (Exclusive)
Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen
Kennedy - The Wedding Present
Get It On - T-Rex
I Like What You Like - Beast
Shock The Monkey - Peter Gabriel
Shimmer Gold - Dexters
New Shoes (Live) - David Bailey
Come Closer - Miles Kane
Ripples - The Coopers
Towerland Lullaby - John Lennon McCullogh
Fictional State - To Kill A King
Blues Hand Me Down - Vintage Trouble
Soul Uncensored - Section 60
Pride Of Judgement Day - Bluesy Steve (Music Bomb)
Rango - Catfish And The Bottlemen
5:15 - The Who
Can't Sleep - Dexters
No Diggity (Live) - David Bailey
Follow The Road - The Dunwells
Spies - Famous Villains
Seven Seas - Echo And The Bunnymen
Egyptian Reggae - Jonathan Richman And The Modern Lovers




Wednesday 19 March 2014

Diary Of A Lazy Freelance Peanut Blogger With A Penchant For Aardvarks

My excuses for the delay in blogging are many. Not been up to much (lie), waiting on podcast of first radio show back to confirm the playlist (lie), lack of time (lie) and laziness (true).

I may turn the blog into a weekly diary. No excuse then. Given that the last blog was two weeks ago though I'm bound to forget something crucial.

So what have I been up to since Whitby? Eating pie rapidly, staring into windows of empty shops, gigs (natch), not doing the ale trail, panicking about being back on the radio, judging singing competitions, York, more pie (less rapidly) and spending time with the gorgeous Miss Octavia Aardvark.

I'll be answering questions at the end of the blog.

Right then. Pie. Andy Milner at The Yorkshire Pie House (Donny's premier take away), (Am I using too many brackets)? (Probably) has started a new pie challenge. After my woeful attempt at his last eat 2,4kg of pie in an hour challenge that left me ill and broken (felt like I'd been beaten up by a giant steak and potato pie) (more brackets) (hmmmmmmm) I fancied my chances on this one. A speed challenge to eat 650g of chicken and ham pie. Andy had set the bench mark at 95 seconds. He's small. And thin. I'm big. And fat. Piece of pie this one.

Took me 8 minutes!!

I give up.

Empty shops. I'm seriously considering opening an independent record store in Donny. Watch this space. I've been watching spaces through windows and think I've found the perfect location. All I need now is for someone to tell me who owns said vacant lot. Spent all day trying to find out and all I've gleaned so far is, well, nothing really. I'm thinking space for a coffee shop, stage, listening booth and of course racking for quality tunage on all formats, books, merch, sheet music etc. Any serious comments on this are most welcome.

Gigs. Plenty of those. The three gigs in one day didn't happen due to my inability to get out of bed on a Saturday afternoon. I missed Fallen Trees in Rotherham but did catch Bang Bang Romeo destroying the Leadmill. They were awesome. Full on rocked out with Starsie owning the stage. It's always good when the headline act start worrying how they can follow the support. So proud. I've been with BBR since their very early days and seeing them turn into serious contenders for greatness is like seeing your children thrive. I confess to shedding a tear. Then on to Plug for Polkadodge, simply one of the hottest live bands out there. I'm honoured to name my new show after one of their songs. Another band that had the crowd eating out of the palm of their hands. Thursday night found me back in Sheffield again. In a tent. On Fargate. Caught a quality acoustic set from Velcro Teddybears and I've just remembered their cd's still lost in the depths of Miss A's handbag. Then Polkadodge (I so LOVE those guys) and The Darlingtons. Two more stunning sets although the sparse crowd detracted from the gig slightly. If you've not seen any of those bands then you have to. It's as simple as that.

Friday and time to hook up with the North East mates Al the Loon and Mickey. I love em to bits but I'm so glad I don't see them every weekend. My liver couldn't take it. Ended up at Cask Corner with rockabilly band Memphis Cruisers flinging a double bass around the stage. I could watch Al the Loon dance for ever. It's a joy to behold.

Not doing the ale trail. Saturday I was meant to do the ale trail but I failed to get out of bed for the second successive Saturday. Why? you ask. None of your business, I reply. Anyway having missed my train by six hours I arranged to meet the chaps later that night in Donny. Ten PM in Tut was the somewhat loose plan. Got to eleven and I'd not heard owt. The following text message took place:

Me: Where are you guys? Thought we were meeting up?
Al: Manchester.
Me: Why?
Al: It's what we do man.
Me: Fair enough. See you tomorrow.
Al: Gan canny.

Back on the radio. Yes I was back at Sine last Sunday with new show The Other Way and I was a shaking, sweating mess before I went on air. Only spent four and a half years doing radio and it was like my brain had hit delete on everything radio orientated. Thankfully my good friend Rob Dannatt from Sine FM's Livewire joined me to hold my hand. And the very brilliant and far too intelligent than is legal Mr. Alistair Pearson also guested on the show, bookending my Sine hiatus having guested on the final Bigger All Important Breakfast Show. He was there to hold my hand. Also there briefly were the returning ale trail posse Ian, Mickey and Al the Loon. They failed to hold my hand. Their moral support consisted of flashing their bare arses. Thanks chaps. And perched in the corner was Miss Octavia Aardvark. She did hold my hand.

I really was a nervous wreck at the start of the show. Talking too quick then drying up and very dry mouthed. Soon got into the flow though and as was always the case I ran out of time. I need a longer show. It was great to be back though and I'm very grateful to all at Sine FM for having me back.

Judging singing competitions. Pub idol at Urban Bar last night. Think that's all that needs saying about that one apart from some people are very bad losers.

York. Had a ridiculously enjoyable day out in York where we failed abysmally to stay sober or get on a boat. Miss Aardvark did invent slinting though, which was nice.

More pie. I eat pie. What can I say?

Spending time with the gorgeous Miss Octavia Aardvark. Again, mind your own business.

Right I'm off to plan a radio show and try and get it right this time.

Laters

SS


Slint. verb UK slɪnt
To slowly slip off a stationary chair or bench even though the chair has not moved. Often with the accompaniment of a Singapore Sling.

The Other Way Playlist - Sunday 16/03/14

The Other way - Polkadodge
The Opener- The Courteneers
Good To Be Back Home Again - The Tourists
Let's Dance To Joy Division - The Wombats
These Days - Joy Division
Recover - Dexters
Elysium - Section 60
Light My Fire - The Doors
Pictures Of You(Live) - Alistair Pearson
Undercover Martyn - Two Door Cinema Club
The Caterpillar - The Cure
Where Did We Lose Each Other - Your Favorite Enemies
Can Stand The Rain - The Talks
Cemetry (An Ode To The IRS) - Bang Bang Romeo
Never Knew Your Name - Madness
I Got You - Split Enz
Alternative Ulster - Stiff Little Fingers
Angel Girl - George Burkill
The Catfish - Polkadodge
Rotations - The Darlingtons
Dream Baby Dream - Bruce Springsteen
Utopia(Live) - Alistair Pearson
Antarctica - Sound Of Guns
California USA - Nexus Noise
Egyptian Reggae - Jonathan Richman And The Modern Lovers 






Friday 7 March 2014

Brokeback Whitby

As promised broadband is on and we're blogging!

Been another couple of hectic weeks. More gigs, quiz wins, aardvarks and forgetting my words but as promised here is a tale of two intrepid, middle aged chaps and a weekend in Whitby.

Expect photos.

Here's one:


On our way somewhere in the Fylingdales area bemoaning the lack of golf balls.

Before we really crack on some background info. Me and my best mate Ian last did a weekend in Whitby 11 years ago just before my Mum died. This trip was a kinda anniversary thing. Plus we both just love Whitby so why not. The majority of my friends expressed jealousy at our trip apart from mutual mate Rick Wright who's reaction was 'Why would you?' It's a line that came up every time we were particularly happy. We used it a lot.

So Friday evening we arrived at our digs


Yes the sky was that blue all weekend. We had to buy shades.

Bags dumped and off for the first pint of many. A toast was offered by Ian to my Mum which started a trend that lasted till our final drink of the weekend back in the Tut 'n' Shive, Donny on Sunday afternoon. A glass was raised with every pint we had. Sadly I cant remember them all but these are the one's that I can:

Patricia
Bill
You, my friend
You, my friend
Bruce Springsteen
The unconditional love of my Mum and Ian's Dad
Whitby
The Cleveland Way
Mickey
Danny
Rick Wright
Why would you?
Al the loon
The mighty Revolver
The landlord of The Laurel Inn, Robin Hood's Bay
Martha
The unstealable fish
Beer
Julie
Harvey's Bristol Cream
The sea
Bands that will only ever play in pubs but entertain us nevertheless
Nicking keepsakes from pubs
The Black Cats

That's in no particular order and as I said there were many more that have slipped into an alcohol infused wasteland.

So a trawl round the excellent pubs of Whitby including a visit to the Duke Of York to see my favourite fish


We both covet this fish but it ways a ton. I'm not advocating stealing but if we could have we would have! More of that later.

A stagger back through the town and into The Station Inn to find a band playing. Revolver, a two piece doing rock covers. It was a 'sod it let's just go for it' moment and we partied like we were watching The Stones. A group photo was needed of band and people old enough to know better but just don't care.



Felt a bit sorry for the band cos I think they thought we were genuine fans. 'We're in Hartlepool tomorrow. Are you coming?' 'Ah, we would do mate but we've made plans'.

Back to The Pier Inn to crash. I sat on my bed and heard a worrying creak, then as I lay down the bottom fell out of my world. Well, my bed. Had a very uncomfortable night trying to sleep on this:


Up in the morning, fixed my bed and down to breakfast for the first of two days fighting for extra toast. As Ian said, 'You don't break a bed on one slice of toast.' Hangovers and ageing limbs permitting we decided to do the 7 mile walk down the coast to Robin Hood's Bay on the Saturday. Why would you? BECAUSE WE CAN. It became a mantra.

First off we had to get me a hat. Ian was insistent the night before that I needed a hat and we needed to take a photo at the end of the pier. He had no recollection in the morning of why and we couldn't find a hat I was happy with. I already had a checked shirt on. A cowboy hat would have made it all a bit too Brokeback Whitby. Especially with kiss me quick on it. So we bought sunglasses instead and headed for the 199 steps up to the Abbey. We decided if we could do the steps then we could do the whole walk and either way it afforded some of the greatest views this country has to offer.




Steps successfully climbed the walk was on. Wandering through the graveyard we came across Dangerous Cliff the piper.


I've never been a fan of bagpipes but even his wailing and droning couldn't spoil my mood. I took the obligatory Abbey pic and was somewhat delighted at the outcome.


And then off down The Cleveland Way were we saw a tree


and a sheep


We tramped our merry way down the coast, letting the serious, non-hungover walkers yomp their way to the Bay, including the joggers (for once Rick Wright was right, 'Why would you?) while we enjoyed our leisurely stroll through God's Own County till this came into view


First port of call was The Grovesnor Hotel and a well earned one of these


and then a walk down the hill, pub by pub of course. Those of you who know the hill in Robin Hood's Bay will be impressed by this next bit. A young lad cycled past us going up the hill. We stopped and gave him a round of applause before we entered my favourite pub of the weekend, The Laurel Inn. Best pint of the weekend too. The landlord wanted to charge for our tasters as he was that confident in the beer. He was right too though thankfully didn't charge us. Further on down the hill to look at the sea now. I could just watch the sea for hours.


And then time to struggle back up the hill, calling in again at The Laurel Inn. Our request for a taster was dismissed laughingly and then I spotted the sherry. I like sherry. It was my Mum's favourite tipple. She'd often wait up for me after a night out and we'd share a glass. As she said, drunk was the only time she could get my darkest secrets out of me! With a withering look the landlord dusted off the sherry and scorned my request for a suitable glass. It was lovely though.

On to the bus back to Whitby for our final night. A discussion started on the pros and cons of taking mementos from pubs. I insisted it was theft and as an ex landlord would be horrified to find something had been nicked at the end of the night. I consulted a pub manager friend of mine who said it was fine as long as it wasn't her pub so we were then drunkenly on a shameful mission. We did find one pub that wasn't overly friendly and the beer was poor and in a fit of pique I walked out with this


I can only apologise for my pilfering ways and if the long arm of the law are reading this it's a fair cop. I should point out that everyone we spoke to that night was very encouraging regards the blatant theft. We nipped back to The Pier Inn to deposit our swag, bumped into a crowd from Donny and then headed to the Station Inn hoping for a repeat of the Revolver night. We stopped off for one at The Ship where Ian inexplicably took a shine to the barmaid and seemed genuinely surprised that the line, 'I'm 46 and you're sexy,' didn't work. Not long after that we both hit a wall and called it a night. I had a fitful night's sleep as my bed creaked and I was scared to move.

The next morning after more begging for toast we had a final walk round Whitby



and then it was time to say goodbye


I should point out that contrary to appearances neither myself or Ian are alcoholics. We just do passable impressions now and then.

And now it's another weekend. Gangsters and Molls birthday bash tonight, three gigs in one day tomorrow and back on Sine FM Sunday evening, 6pm - 8pm.

Why would you?

Life is good again.

Laters

SS