BAIBS Friday 11/10/13.

I was gonna start off with something a little bit gross but then decided it wouldn't be civilized reading. It was, again, something to do with the perils of bar work and my thinking was if I start with it you'll have put it out of your mind by the time you reach the end of the blog. Plus it's Friday so we've a whole weekend to forget I ever mentioned it.

But now I know you're, in the words of Jon Kelly, intrigued. Although that's only one word so surely to be grammatically correct that sentence should read, in the word of Jon Kelly. But that makes him sound like a minor deity. Which reminds me of the Bono joke:

What's the difference between God and Bono?

God doesn't think he's Bono.

I called Bono an arse on last Friday's show. Apparently he wont release U2's new album till God says he can. God's having a similar problem with Revelations: The Sequel. (Spoiler alert: Jesus did it). Bono's not OK'd it's release yet.

Surprisingly, despite arse being a banned by OFCOM word, no-one complained. Today's 'Get bent' raised more interest. It came after a political rant and the realisation that Facebook had invited me to 'like' David Cameron.

And just to be serious for a moment and reiterate for those who missed it, it was on the news today that for the first time since the Second World War The Red Cross are having to issue food parcels to UK citizens. Whilst our illustrious, never done a day's work in his life, married to an heiress, shiny faced Eton toff of a PM has the audacity to say 'We're all in it together.' Sickening. I think get bent is pretty mild really.

A reasonably uneventful walk home today apart from a bag/phone/coffee/bacon butty incident that lead me to pour coffee in my pocket. Accidentally of course. The pocket in question was on 'the big coat'. Yes the weather has turned enough for me to pick one of the three big coats I have.

Option 1: Green. Wooly. Normally reserved for best so in reality it never gets worn.

Option 2: Black. Long. I like it but I'm sure if you go to Jacamo's everything a good flasher needs section it'll be in there somewhere.

Option 3: The Porn Star Coat. Denim with fake fur lining. My personal favourite but I've come to discover not one other person likes it. I think we all have a favourite item of clothing that it transpires only we like. I had an awesome shirt a few years back. I can't do it justice here but my ex hated it. In one of our many house moves the shirt somehow failed to make the trip.

I've obviously been waffling just to avoid the topic I was gonna begin with which now means I'm gonna end with it which wasn't the plan at all. I won't go into too many details but I know you're a little curious. Basically it's just about comparing the size of the average sphincter to that of the average toilet bowl and wondering why some people struggle so much. I feel I've said enough already.

So the weekend. England flattering to deceive again tonight against the might of Montenegro then the brilliant Ramona Flowers on upstairs at The Leopard. Star of yesterday's show Mr. Paul Gibbard and regular guest Sick Note Tez are in our acoustic lounge tomorrow night. Makes for a stunning weekend.

Hopefully you've already blocked the toilet paragraph from your memory.

Laters

SS

Playlist Friday 11/10/13

The Mighty Ship - The Housemartins

Boxerbeat - JoBoxers

Hounds Of Love - Futureheads

Pretty In Pink - The Psychedelic Furs

Rock 'n' Roll Suicide - David Bowie

Adore Me - Bang Bang Romeo

Night Mail - Public Service Broadcasting

God And Satan - Biffy Clyro

Never Fade Away - Spector

Kings For The Weekend - Missing Andy

Molly Gray - The DN Allstars

The Bucket - Kings Of Leon

Smile - The Supernaturals

Baba O'Riley - The Who

I Am The Resurrection - The Stone Roses

Brighter - The Ramona Flowers

Some Might Say - Oasis

Don't Let Me Down Gently - The Wonderstuff

Pure - The Lightning Seeds

Safe European Home - The Clash

Shackled And Drawn - Bruce Springsteen

Men's Needs - The Cribs

Anthem For A Lost Cause - Manic Street Preachers

Oceans - Dexters

Upstarts - Johnny Marr

The Killing Moon - Echo And The Bunnymen

Rise - Public Image Ltd

She Will - Savages

Just Like The Rain - Richard Hawley

Lonely Boy - The Black Keys

Dreaming Of You - The Coral

Revolution - The Beatles

Lullaby - The Cure

Back Of My Hand - The Jags

Forever In Your Debt - Slow Readers Club

Another Girl, Another Planet - The Only Ones

Seven Nights, Seven Days - The Fratellis

Girl From Mars - Ash

All Or Nothing - Small Faces

Egyptian Reggae - Jonathan Richman And The Modern Lovers