Bar Handbag.

Dea-tráthnóna!

Good to have the Irish on board.

Train travel again. A train should never do an emergency stop but the one I was on last week did. I like my trains to slow gently to a halt before leaving me stranded. This one just slammed the brakes on though. And then we got the announcement that we'd stopped due to a fault on the unit. Unit? Really?

So that was that then. Stuck in the middle of nowhere til they worked out what to do with us. Or so I thought. But no. Almost immediately the train set off, and I might add at some pace. This was even more worrying. A faulty unit careering through the wilds of South Yorkshire with apparently not a care in the world. I was anticipating being derailed at any point and landing next to half a fox. The fact that arriving in Donny necessitated another emergency stop made my relief to get off even greater. I gave a passing thought to the poor souls left on the train heading to Scunny but then again they were off to Scunny. They deserve all they get.

Quick think. Do I know anyone in Scunny? Bugger. Yes. Sorry Fiona.

So it's that time of year again. I've mentioned before that everyone should have to work a bar for two weeks of their life. Bar staff would get so much more respect that way. I've re-evaluated that. Everyone should work a bar over Christmas and New Year.

Quick quiz. A bar is long enough for 5 people to stand at. The queue is about 5 deep at the bar. You're at the back of the queue. Basic maths says there's 25 people waiting before you. Do you:

A: Wait patiently and hope you get served in turn. (Good bar staff will always try to serve in turn but it's not always that easy).

or

B: Make your way to the serving hatch at the side of the bar, lean through and kick the barman who's already serving someone and yell 'I'm next.'?

Yes that happened to me on 'Mad Friday'. People forget the power bar staff wield. I, politely, told the 'kicker' he'd get served when it was his turn. twenty minutes later I deemed it to be his turn and, still politely, told him that kicking me was unacceptable and that he wouldn't be getting served in this pub now or for that matter ever again. Actually I wasn't that polite. I'm not gonna lie to you, I hope I ruined his day.

And can we stop calling it Mad Friday. It just encourages people.

So with all that in mind I've had 25 years, give or take, of that kind of behaviour so I don't think I'm gonna miss the pub game too much when I leave. On that note my leaving do is at The Leopard on Jan 5th. Feel free to come say hi/bye.

I made the mistake of attempting to Christmas shop yesterday. Last Saturday before Christmas. What an idiot. The lovely Tracey mentioned needing a handbag. I'm a bloke. What do I know about handbags? So I got her something useless, impractical and pointless instead. Obviously I can't divulge what just yet. This morning saw me wrapping presents. I'm hopeless at it. It basically looks like I've thrown wrapping paper and sellotape at a box and miraculously some of it stuck. I should say that anyone who gets a gift from me also gets some of my hair in there too. I'm generous like that.

Anyway, probably my last web log before Christmas so have a good one, stay safe and be nice to those poor sods who have to work all over Christmas!

Laters

SS